Yesterday, I went for a bike ride with one of my friends. We headed up to the park to hit a few trails. On our bike ride, we ran into the Navy Seal Team on one of the trails. It was like we were being run over by a HERD! We laughed about being "run off the road" and carried on. . .
As we were leaving the park, we got to the downward sidewalk, and a man was jogging up the sidewalk. . . My girlfriend was in front of me, and as she passed the jogger, she "slipped" a little, but was able to regain control of her bike. I, on the other hand, passed the jogger, and lost ALL control of my bike, and skid out. I managed to ONLY tear up my knee a little bit. . ..
My girlfriend stopped to see if I was alright, and the jogger stopped and helped me pick up my pieces (sunglasses, water bottle. . .). It was quite embarrassing, if I must say so myself. . . .I can hear the jogger dude now: "Man, I was jogging today, and this girl was checking me out! I even made her wipe out! Christ, I almost made TWO girls wipe out!"
The most embarrassing thing: He was NO Matthew McConaughey!!
NOTE: The following may contain graphic content, especially if you are sensitive to the killing and eating of animals.
I was fortunate enough to be asked by Red, to attend a family Pig Roast (fortunate meaning, she thought that I was appropriate enough to bring around her family). Our adventure started Friday on our drive to KEEENNNTUUCCCKKYYYY!! Once we arrived (10 hours later), I was able to witness the process of a pig roast. Red's mom was the director of the activities:
1st was the killing of the pig - ONE shot to the head (well, it was suppose to be one. . it took four)
2nd was the beheading of the pig (I bet you are thankful that there are no pictures at this point). This was done with nothing but a pocket knife (The small knife allows for minimal error. You want to be sure not to cut any of the inside system.)
3rd was the draining of the blood
4th was the scrapping of the hair - This was done with boiling water and knives
5th was the gutting (at least at GeeGee's lamb roast, we didn't have to do ANY of this)
This was done by hanging the pig from the Kuboto, and letting farmer Fred take care of business (he gave us a VERY descriptive summary of how he "kept all the system parts together" in order to not "pollute" the meat - I actually did NOT witness this part)
6th Next, they rinsed out the pig, and stuffed it with fresh herbs, pears, and onions
This is when the girls opted for a photo!!
AWAY from the PIG
7th Now, it was time for the pig to be sewed back up. . . .
and time for me to get another adult beverage!
8th The pig was now ready to be wrapped in chicken wire, and put on the handmade smoker (Thanks Dave, for the perfected design!!)
9th After TWELVE sleepless hours of keeping the smoker at 250 degrees (of course, this sleepless was NOT referring to me. . .), the pig was ready to be removed from the smoker and prepared for EATING
And yes, THEY did. . . .This image was created by copying and pasting my previous post into Wordle. The words that come up MOST are bigger and bolder:
On top of the violations, I had several customers wanting to get the "2 for 1" meal for themselves (so they could order FOUR eggs, TWO sides of meat, TWO sides of bread, and TWO sides of hash browns - and throw away half of it, because it is TOO much food). Not to mention, these people stereotypically do not tip accordingly. I also had a person call in a to-go order for a 2 for 1 meal - NOT HAPPENING
People. . . ???? What are you smoking??
So, some of you may remember me writing a blog at the end of July titled, Intolerances. It was about my adventures to the farmer's market, where I stumbled upon a lady who was VERY rude to one of the ladies at the stand.
Today, I ventured to the stand (since it is WAY cheaper than buying the produce at the grocery store, and you are supporting your local farmers. . .no matter what language they speak). Anyway, as I approached the market, there was one HUGE stand with the largest tent (Washington Redskins tent) at the market. As I approached the stand, admiring the produce, I recognized the same Spanish speaking lady behind the stand. She was helping two other people of Spanish decent learn how to communicate and work the counter for customers. I caught her eye, and I could tell she recognized me! I remembered part of the conversion earlier this Summer:
The mean woman continued to harass the lady behind the counter.
mean woman: Did you farm these (pointing at the potatoes)? You're not the farmer!! Say "weigh". . . . How much is the corn?
By the looks of the stand today, it looks like my little Spanish friend did just fine this Summer. First of all, she probably WAS the farmer (grew, picked, packed, displayed and sold her produce). Second of all, she seemed to be doing just well by greeting customers with her friendly smile and ability to communicate a sale or two. I sure hope that mean woman comes back to the stand and sees how well her friend (that doesn't belong here, because she does not know the English language perfect) is doing. . . .How do you say "bite it b**ch" in Spanish??
Sorry Folks!
I have been running around like a chicken with his head chopped off since school started. . . .I'm sure I will have some material (and stuff to catch you up on from the end of the Summer) to work with soon!!
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